Traveling with a baby

We were out of the U.S. for six weeks, our first international trip with a baby. It was important this experiment succeed because we're planning a much longer adventure starting in May: moving to the U.K. In six weeks, we visited three places (Singapore, Penang, and Tokyo) and took six plane rides (Chicago to Tokyo, Tokyo to Singapore, Singapore to Penang, and the reverse of these). We learned some things along the way and forgot a few others.

Bobby doesn't care about Tokyo per se. He's a curious little fellow who likes observing busy scenes, but we can find busy scenes in Chicago -- so why drag him 14 time zones away? We had to bring him to Singapore to visit his grandparents (if you don't like traveling with babies, then you probably should date in your home town, I have learned). Since a trip to Singapore involves a stopover in Tokyo, and since Mom and Dad like visiting Tokyo, and since an extended stopover in Tokyo also breaks the very, very long plane ride into two very long plane rides, we stayed five nights in Tokyo. And now, where Mom and Dad go, baby comes in tow.

The trip consisted of highs and lows and the in between. We had fun in Tokyo. We got to visit some of the places we wanted and eat some of the foods we wanted. Unfortunately, it was cool and rainy most days; Tokyo spring weather is highly variable like that of the Midwest. We also spent a good amount of time preparing Bobby for the day, locating baby items in the city (diapers and baby food, mostly), breast feeding him, and coming home early to put him to bed. When walking around the city, we carried him in an Ergobaby carrier. This allows him to look around, and he's also very comfortable sleeping in there; so naps were taken care of. Restaurants rarely offered high chairs, but it was no matter: I am excellent at holding Bobby with one arm while using my free hand to feed myself. With only one arm available, by the way, sushi is easier to eat than ramen.

Christine and I prepared for the six week trip with limited success. We both did some Internet research about travelling with babies. Most writers focus on managing the plane ride, and I was very nervous about the plane ride. Would it be 20 hours in the air with a baby hating every minute of it? As Christine and I begin our parenting journey, among the parenting lessons we have learned is that parenting is an improv comedy show. You never know what your baby will do, and all you can do is respond to him while anticipating the next demand, often unsuccessfully. Bobby wasn't too bothered by the first plane rides: from Chicago to Tokyo (13 hours), then Tokyo to Singapore (7 hours) (the Tokyo vacation was on the way home from Asia). He slept on my shoulder when he was tired. He refused to sleep in the airline-provided bassinet. I changed his diaper in the bathroom on the child changing table. He never cried. On the plane ride from Tokyo to Chicago, however, he cried and cried and cried and he screamed. Ever since that flight, screaming has been a new form of self-expression for him that he reminds us of every day.

You feel stressed when holding your screaming baby on a plane and looking out at the rows and rows of people. I think the truth is that most people are not particularly mad, but sometimes Bobby's screams were so forceful that you'd think we were torturing him. Maybe the citizens of the plane were judging us: "Parents of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good." I just wanted him to sleep so I could sleep and relax -- also, I didn't want to be accused of some sort of child abuse. It would just be inconvenient for me.

The worst part about traveling with infants, however, is baby jet lag. It took Bobby about five days to return to a normal schedule upon arriving in Singapore and then up re-arriving in Chicago. Even once he recovered in Singapore, his habits were not like they had been in Chicago before leaving. He never slept through the night in Singapore and always demanded we coax him to sleep (i.e., by bouncing him until he passed out, gently lying him in bed, and repeating as necessary if he woke during the process). Upon returning to Chicago, we opted to let him cry when he woke up so he wouldn't be in the habit of us feeding him in the middle of the night every time he wakes. On the first night, he woke up at 2am and cried; the next night at 4am, then 4:30am, and now he's sleeping until 5:30. But there were several painful nights of our little guy just screaming and crying until he grew hoarse. The worst is over... until we take him to London.

Out and about in the big city

Bobby twisting and turning on the Tokyo Subway. His attention span is short, and apparently he was interested in the pole at this point in time.

Bobby was happy hanging out in his carrier. Dave, left, came along as a part-time nanny. He didn't do very well, so we didn't pay him.

Changing a diaper at Takashimaya, a big upscale department store in Tokyo. When we weren't lucky enough to find dedicated baby changing tables, I changed him on the bathroom floor using a handy fold-out changing mat. We never leave home without this mat because Bobby likes to poop outside the home.

Walking with Bobby through the Shogun's private gardens (Hamarikyu) on a day mercifully without rain but still with no sunshine. Alas, no sakura-fuelled garden bacchanalia on this day either.

Flying with Bobby

Flying on a plane with a baby is not an experience I would recommend. Perhaps the best part is getting to cut to the front of the various lines you encounter when travelling by air -- lines at security, lines to board the plane, lines at passport control. At least in Tokyo they let us go to the front of these lines. Since using airports in the U.S. is akin to using the U.S. prison system as a prisoner, such benefits are not as readily available. The U.S. makes itself incredibly unwelcoming at its airports. (And of course the meathead border agent took Christine to a backroom with no explanation to her or us when we reentered the U.S. because her green card is expired because the government can't get around to renewing it... my anger is rising...)

The line to board the flight from Narita to O'Hare. Notice I am taking the photo from the front of the line.

This was Bobby on the flight from Singapore to Tokyo. He didn't mind this flight too much; he took several naps; he ate; he was happy; so where his parents.

The airline provided bassinet. Bobby refused to sleep in the bassinet, but at times he was reasonably happy to sit in it.

But as was usual on the flight from Tokyo to Chicago, Bobby was just generally hating it.

And he cried and screamed while I tried to change him in the bathroom. This table folds down above the toilet. It's actually convenient because it's high, and that makes it easy to change him.

Out on the town with a baby

At an Italian restaurant in Tokyo. Bobby did pretty well while we ate, but then Dad wanted to order one more dish. Bobby ran out of patience. Immediately after paying our bill, we hustled Bobby home to get him to bed. Italian food, by the way, can be very good in Tokyo; Tokyo restaurants just don't often serve bad food no matter what the nationality of the cuisine.

At Devilcraft, a craft brew pub in Tokyo, holding Bobby while I drank a beer. I found craft beer to be scarcer in Tokyo than I imagined. Unlike in Chicago where it is literally sold everywhere beer is sold (Walgreens has a nice selection), only select establishments sell it in Tokyo; the ubiquitous 7-11 did not carry it, from what I observed, in my many trips to 7-11, mostly looking for baby products.

Babe sleeps whilst Mum shops for nappies. It was a bit of a challenge to find adequate diaper supplies and baby foods. Surely there are supermarkets somewhere in Tokyo, but we didn't see any.

Eventually we found bulk packaged diapers in a department store.

Bobby liked making friends on the train. One of his hobbies is to rub different surfaces, and he liked reaching out and rubbing the materials of strangers' clothing.

When travelling, whether internationally or just about town, one must always make sure baby has adequate supplies of food on hand. He is a happy baby until he gets hungry. Here, Christine is feeding him some pureed fruits and vegetables on the train from Narita to Tokyo Station.

He likes sleeping in the carrier as we walk around. The movement lulls him to sleep and he feels comfortable cuddled up against Mum or Dad.

This isn't even the subway map; this is the map of just the commuter trains. You buy your tickets at these handy kiosks, which are a great place to rid yourself of all the coins that accumulate because businesses often prefer old-fashioned cash to credit cards. 7-11, fyi, does accept credit cards.

Packing for a journey with a baby

Christine and I were ruthless in cutting items to pack. In the end, however, we still over-packed.

This is what we brought to Asia: a carry-on backpack, mostly filled with items for baby, many of which we never used; a car seat, for the car rides in Malaysia and elsewhere; a travel crib, which is a crib that folds into a backpack; a big suitcase, filled with clothes; and a go bag, filled with milk, baby changing mat, toys, and wipes, for all of baby's needs.

The crib folds up into this handy bag. Above is the picture we took after the handle was broken in the Narita luggage conveying machinery.

Here is the travel crib unfolded from its bag.

Conclusion

Christine and I would not argue that travelling with a baby is better than travelling without a baby. But, we want to travel -- in fact, have to travel, at least to Singapore and London -- so baby must come with (unless we can leave him with his nai nai (i.e., my mother), which we will do when we travel to Oregon and Washington in May when we embark on our red wine hunting expedition). I just hope that someday Bobby will look back at these stories and feel happy that his parents lugged him along on these intercontinental excursions.