Twelve months and hundreds of milestones

As Bob was just beginning his thirteenth month, he, along with Mum and Dad, took his thirteenth flight. Long flights in coach, especially on a U.S. airline, are getting worse and worse, and bringing a baby aboard does not make them better. While not all of the flights were pleasant, recalling the flights and travels from his first year give his parents markers by which to measure our progress: Bobby's in growing up and his parents' in learning to parent.

Bobby, it seems, was destined to be a flyer. Mum and Dad took several international trips in 2016 expecting that we'd take less once the baby came. That expectation (perhaps like many of our expectations of parenting?) of course ended up being wrong. We realized Christine was pregnant while in Singapore in January, then we headed to Taipei and Seoul; in April we went to Korea (again) and Paris for the French Open; in June we visited Door County, Wisconsin, and in July Washington DC.

Bobby, here you are in Paris. Note the Seine was experiencing record-tying floods amid relentless rainstorms -- a bad week for tennis.

Earliest days

The summer leading to Bobby's birth was remarkable. The Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA finals for the first time; we considered naming our son LeBron after the series MVP. (We also considered naming him Roger, after Federer, but then he didn't play at the French Open, and we felt a bit burned.) The Cubs started their season accumulating wins at an unprecedented rate -- one of the best starts in baseball history. But with the Cubs, as my dad would say, start fast and finish last. The start was just too strong, however, and although their league dominance flagged near the end of the season, we know how it ends. Mum and Dad spent the summer watching the Rio Olympics, where we remember track and field, the green pool, Singapore's first Olympic gold (won by a Eurasian Singaporean lad, just like Bobby), and Ryan Lochte's tragicomic brownout. As the summer wore on, the reality of a Presidential election featuring Donald Trump began to set in, or slowly crush us like some sort of slow-moving steamroller. In fact, the night Bobby was born, Trump and Clinton were going at it in their first debate. Dad watched for a few minutes but turned it off because it was disgusting and embarrassing. At 9:50 pm, just eleven days after watching the Cubs lose at Wrigley (see photo below), Bobby was born.

The future mum, on 15 September, waiting in line for a hot dog, at Wrigley Field to watch the Cubs lose to the Brewers and delay for another day their clinching of the National League Central.

Bobby's future nai nai arrived to Chicago several days late, but Bobby showed up several days late as well. She was there to help before and after his birth, and to alert everyone we have ever met in our lives that she was then a grandma. Bobby was born on a Monday; the Saturday before, Mum, Nai Nai, and Dad took a long walk from Michigan Avenue, across River North, to the Slurping Turtle, so Mum could get some spicy ramen and try to coax the boy out using the old spicy food trick.

On 29 September, after Bob had spent his first night at his first home (1344 N. Dearborn), proud Mum poses in front of several pictures bequeathed us by Bobby's Great Grandma Elaine (and a chair from her too! see, left). Poor Mum suffered from an erroneously applied epidural and had a tough few days at home and had to revisit the hospital. Luckily, Gugus Rachel and Laura were there to help Nai Nai with Bob while Mum and Dad went back to the hospital.

Proud new Dad posing with baby Bob on 1 October in front of the world map Dad acquired while in law school. I'm sorry, Bob, for any discomfort we caused you in dragging you around the Northern Hemisphere during your first year.

Dad took Bob for some walks in Lincoln Park to get some sun onto the boy's skin during the surprisingly warm fall of 2016.

Cedar Rapids came to visit Bobby when he was born -- Laura, Rachel, and Wendy. Although Mum wasn't feeling well, the rest of us celebrated with some veal piccata and wine while Bobby slept; fatherhood was starting off fun. Soon, Bobby took his first trip -- this one to Cedar Rapids. The first drive from Chicago out through the western suburbs was stressful. It rained, and Bob cried when strapped into his car seat. We just prayed he'd fall asleep. Dad changed Bob's diaper on the front seat. Mum may have shed a few tears too. In Cedar Rapids, Dad took A'addi for opening day of pheasant season at Linge Farms; none of us would have thought it would be his last. He was a good dog.

We made several more back and forths between Chicago and Cedar Rapids. I would always think of how my parents used to do that when I was young and they were living near Chicago. The trips got easier and easier the more skilled we got at handling Bob and learning what to expect. We bought many meals at the Princeton, Illinois, Culver's, where we could stop for breastfeeding and get some gourmet food that was easy to eat in the car.

October 22nd party at Foxwood. As usual, everyone hovering in the kitchen. That's where the food is -- duh.

Iowa craft beer at NewBo Market in Cedar Rapids, 29 October. Too many years on the north side of Chicago, full of SUV strollers crowding us out of Starbucks and off sidewalks, turned Dad off of strollers. Dad was also impressed in his travels to Korea that it's possible to parent without a pram. Bobby's earliest travels were in the Mobi. He would inevitably fall asleep once he was inside and Dad started walking. We were even able to sit through entire meals with him sleeping away in the Mobi. One of the first restaurants we went to was Kamehachi on Wells St. in Chicago because Mum wanted sushi after abstaining while pregnant; Bob slept the whole time while Mum pounded raw tuna. Dad also got some crumbs on Bob's head when eating a sandwich at 3rd Coast.

Changing a diaper on the back of the Bon-Ding at a rest area along I-80 in Illinois on 1 November.

On November 2 the Cubs won Game 7 of the World Series in Cleveland! The photo was taken at the beginning of the game; Bob was asleep around the seventh inning. The celebrations up and down the streets of the Gold Coast didn't wake up Bob. The celebrations in the Gold Coast anyway were muted compared to the debauchery of Wrigleyville. A few days after the Cubs won, Trump was elected, and we forgot all about how happy we once were.

Just after Christmas he had his passport so he could go to Singapore to visit his grandparents.

Celebrating Chinese New Year in Cedar Rapids with takeout from Mandarin Spice and a mandarin outfit ordered online by Nai Nai.

Just before the January 2 Outback Bowl started, Bobby thought the Hawkeyes had a chance against the Gators. Hawkeyes lost. Bob was wearing mittens because of his fondness for scratching his face and his parents' desire to prevent that.

Dad took one month of paternity leave once Bobby was born, and he took five more starting in the new year. Here's Dad enjoying a cup of Starbucks after taking Bobby for a walk around the Gold Coast on 17 January. Bobby was warm with his hat on and tucked inside Dad's winter coat. Notice that the big boy graduated to the Ergo Baby, which we're still using, to drag Bob around London.

Once Mum went back to work in January, Dad took over "full-time" parenting. He spent his days unloading the contents of the Chicago apartment onto the Craigslist markets and Chicago's donation bins. We were excited to take Bobby to Asia but worried about how he'd fly. The air pressure in an aloft plane is lower than at ground level, and this change has been known to irritate babies; luckily, this change in pressure didn't seem much to affect him, and his first flights weren't too bad. Onto the new phase, Bob. At the end of February, we decamped from our Gold Coast apartment to the Gold Coast Hotel, Public, where we staged our exit to Asia.

Development milestones

After Bobby's first few months, we became increasingly nomadic -- leaving our apartment in Chicago, spending 6 weeks in Asia, some weeks in Cedar Rapids and Washington state and DC -- and our locations serve as markers of time and development.

Fighting jet lag at the Milwaukee and North Starbucks in Wicker Park, one day after returning to Chicago from Asia. 13 April 2017.

Early development milestones included smiling, holding his head up, and not crying while awake. Throughout October, Bobby would cry ceaselessly while awake, probably from colic or acid reflux; it drove us to distraction, but by the first half of November, Bobby would flash smiles at us, he wasn't crying all the time, and he could hold his head up while on his stomach. When we went to his three month check-up, the doctor asked if he could hold his head up, and I guess he wanted to show off because he held his head up and smiled. The doctor said he was so cute she wanted him to steal him away.

Flashing a smile while all swaddled up on 20 November.

Also in November is when we first heard his infectious laugh. The first gale of laughter we got was when his Nai Nai was making bird noises (while singing a Cat Stevens song with modified, anthropomorphic lyrics). Many months were spent afterwards trying to tease out that infectious laugh. From a young age, Bob seemed to be a boy who appreciates comedy. He's still a laugher, and his laugh remains endearing.

Bob was an early sitter, sitting at just past four months. He was doing partial rolls around then but didn't start rolling with a vengeance until we were in Singapore, at around five and a half months, and then he wanted to roll around his crib instead of sleep (see Let's Roll): a very frustrating time during his father's paternity leave.

Sitting on February 13 at 1344 N. Dearborn. The apartment was nearly empty at this time because Dad spent the first two months of his paternity leave ridding the apartment of its objects so the family could terminate their lease and spend the next several months travelling before taking up residence in London. Most of the packing was done during Bobby's naps. Mum was working for a few more months after her maternity leave had ended.

Just before leaving for Singapore, in late February, at five months, he was eating rice cereal, his first solid food, and in Singapore his grandparents were feeding him homemade rice porridge. By the time we were all together in London, in late May, at eight months, he was eating Indian food and pizza off Dad's plate (remember his joy at eating chicken tikka masala?).

At Union Market in DC on 17 May, Dad shared some of his Korean tacos with Bob.

In early May, at 7 months, he was crawling like a star athlete (whose sport is crawling?). I will always remember him crawling around Rachel's house in DC because we spent two weeks there just after he had learned the new skill. We tried to get him to learn to walk on the National Mall, but he could only walk while we held his hands.

In the early days in London, late May, at 8 months, Bob was using the table to stand, and in July, at 10 months, he was standing without assistance. In late July, he was putting on a show at Molly's wedding in Colorado, with wedding guests gathered around Bobby, with his cousin Hendrick next to him, as Bobby stood up unsupported and clapped his hands (Pai pai shou! 拍拍手！).

On 16 August at Great Grandma Hartman's farm, showing off his standing skills.

Spending August and September in Cedar Rapids, he was taking a few steps before crashing, but during the week starting October 10, at 12.5 months, Bobby decided he would walk everywhere he wanted to go. Almost as soon as he did this, he also began kicking balls while he walked. A soccer star in the making? Not so sure it's going to work out for him -- he loses interest fast and often abandons the ball to the defense (usually played by Mum and Dad).

That's a handball, soccer stud. Sixteen October at Paradise Park in Islington.

Hopes for the new year

Bob's first word was "ball", but actually he was speaking much earlier. Back in month five he would be in Singapore calling out "mummmm" and "ma ma." Then he moved onto "ba," "bing," and many other b-words, but we were never sure we knew what he was saying. During his eleventh month, we became convinced he was referring specifically to a ball when he said what sounded like "ball." Over the past few weeks, he also seems to be saying "bite," after he bites his Mum. Many of his physical milestones have now been reached, and we're looking forward to his new achievements in the English and Chinese languages.

Past performance as indicator of future results

Fatherhood has been fun. Bob is a fun boy, who likes exploring and laughing and using sounds that start with "b" to describe his world. Dad appreciates his creativity in finding relatively cheap toys: he's a big fan of spoons, spatulas, and boxes; he likes dancing and clapping his hands along with music. He has a fierce independent streak: we try to get him to walk in one direction, and he insists on going another; we try to put his pajamas on, and he tries to make a break for it. He is a young Rachel in the making.

He doesn't like being couped up in the economy class of an airplane. I'm sorry, Bob, but Mum and Dad already have at least two more international trips planned over the next several months. At least one flight (to Copenhagen) will be shorter than the other (to Singapore). But Bob, once you try laksa in Singapore, you will thank me.

Bob and Dad in the bathroom of the plane carrying Bobby for his thirteenth flight. Plane rides have increasingly become exercises in keeping the boy distracted, lest he otherwise focuses on the havoc he wants to wreak (his list of plane activities otherwise includes crying in protest at being restrained, loudly vocalizing all kinds of sounds just because, kicking people's seats and slamming them with his best swinging punches, and walking or crawling up the aisles with no regard for personal space). On our most recent flight to London, I took him to the bathroom and stood him on the changing table, and in the bathroom he could just yell and bang the walls to his satisfaction; no one seemed to care.

Pretty soon we will have to pay the full ticket price for him to fly with us! Sunrise, sunset.