And the Ugly Side of the Bourgeois Wave

Each morning when I wake up, I think that today will be the day that my Delhi Belly will be gone. And breakfast doesn’t upset it, and I think, yes, today is the day. But then I eat more, and sometimes during the meal, or sometimes after, I began getting shooting pains and pressure through my gut. I hunker down for a minute, and they go away and return in a few minutes. This usually goes on for an hour or so and returns numerous times throughout the day.

So yesterday evening I went to a doctor at Lilavati Hospital. It’s right across the street from my office and, I am told, a famous hospital. My visit was Rs. 600, $15.00. My smiling and rotund doctor’s name was Dr. Schimpi. He said he had taken his family on vacation to the U.S. last month and had driven from Buffalo to Orlando. That sounds nice about now. Dr. Schimpi also told me I just had a stomach virus. He prescribed some medicines with names I’ve never heard (Satrogyl-O, Drotin-DS, Pacimol, and Vizylac) and told me to skip work. I would prefer to not skip work but on doctor’s orders, might as well. Total cost for all these drugs – Rs. 245.20, about $6.

And today I’m feeling better, or I was until the neighbor boy came over. (I’m just annoyed now, instead of ill.) He came over at 2 pm and said he’d been coming every day since the day he first met me last week. I told him I work and don’t get home until 7 or 8, so I don’t know why he would expect me to regularly be home at 2 pm. So now it’s 8, and he’s been here since then except for an hour break where he went I don’t know where.

He told me some nice things like that I was his best friend and that he’ll always remember me. But I soon discovered he was just flattering me so that he could beg me for the next three hours to either give him my iPod or buy him an iPod. He came up with every argument conceivable and even budgeted out my summer salary in a way that would allow me to afford an iPod for him. And btw he is hugely mistaken about the price for which an iPod can be purchased. He thinks they’re much cheaper than they actually are. So cheap in fact, I could afford one for him. I wrote down a direct quote from him while he spoke:

“From the first time I saw an iPod, it’s been my dream to have an iPod, and now I’ve been waiting two years for an iPod and now it’s almost three years. And Eric do not give his iPod to me, but yet I love an iPod and it will be my dream and be my dream till I die. If anybody help in my dream, so I would remember them till I die. I would call him from my phone if I had a phone, and I would call him and say thank you.”

This begging got to be very obnoxious, and I told him that it was very bad manners. At one point he told me he wanted an iPod so bad that he thought he might start crying. He also asked if he could kiss my iPod because he loves it so much, and he looked out my window and prayed for an iPod. He kissed my hand and told me I was his best friend, even though he accidentally called me Jason while doing so. When he wasn’t begging for an iPod, he was asking me how much everything I own costs, even a University of Pittsburgh pen. He also told me the different cell phones and video games I should buy for him. I grew very sick of him being here, and I told him that all he cares about are electronics and money. I told him he should be thankful for all that he has and that people are starving in India, and he was lucky to not be starving. He told me, no, I’m lucky because I have a camera, a cell phone, a laptop, and an iPod. I told him he should be thankful he doesn’t have to live in the slum next to my apartment building. He said that he saw even one of them had a cell phone.

When he first came over, he told me he was going to cook for me. I was hungry, and I thought this would be a sweet deal. All I had for him to cook, however, was spaghetti, and I ended up doing all of the cooking. When it was done he told me it wasn’t “tasty,” that it needed tasty stuff on it. I put marinara sauce on it, but I guess the flavor wasn’t Indian enough. So he told me he wanted me to order pizza. It was pretty cheap, so I did.

My mom called to see if my medicine had started working yet, and the kid talked to her. He asked her to buy him an iPod too.

And now, my whole day spent telling this kid that I cannot buy him an iPod, he has finally left. He told me he’d be back tomorrow. Sweet.

Comments

wendylinge said…
Ah, come on Eric. He isn't all that different from a kid in the US but 6 hours is a long time for a visit. Besides he told me "Eric and I are having so much fun". Where are his parents? You have to give him credit, his English is spectacular! Tell him his "auntie" will send him an ipod if he quits bugging you! Of course, I want to adopt the whole sub-continent!
aunt mawti said…
Dehli Belly? is it really caused by Indian food? or did you inherit it from your father, who seems to have a permanent case of what I like to call "rotten gut"? either way, i wouldn't want to follow either of you into the biffy.
Eric FD said…
Delhi Belly's not caused by Indian Food per se. Delhi Belly is just a stomach bug, and after a while a sick belly just doesn't feel like having any more greasy, spicy food dumped down it.